Bye Pink, Hello Blue!

When I first started the blog, unknown the sex of the baby, I picked a neutral color tone lilac for the blog. Now, knowing it is going to be a boy, I changed the color palette to blue.

Like every expecting mommy, I got asked by friends now and then whether I wanted a boy or girl. I always said I wanted a girl because I can dress her. Knowing it is a boy, I have been thinking these days. Do I really want a girl just because I can dress her? I think maybe not. I wanted a girl because I understand girls by once being a girl myself. Honestly, what do I know about boys? How am I going to raise a boy by knowing nothing about his thoughts and needs. It is the unfamiliarity that subconsciously nudged me towards the thought of having a girl would be easier.

I talked to XJ about my concerns. He laughed at me : “Silly, that is why you have me. I was a boy. I know boys. I will deal with it.” Exactly! Look at what I was worry about. I have been trying to deny that pregnant women always have low IQs. It seems that for something, it is what it is, you just can’t deny it.

During the last several months, every time I saw those cute little pink dresses hardly can I resist the temptation to own them. They are just so adorable! I always daydreamed a girl looked exactly like me in these lovely pink outfits. How amazing that would be! Now, there is a total different picture in my mind: the little XJ in a polo shirt and a baseball hat, sporty and nerdy, just like his daddy.

Pink, bye for now and hello blue!

(P.S.: Many thanks to Yujing and Xiao for the baby outfit featured in XJ's picture here. )

Oh, Here is The Third Leg!

Today’s doctor visit was definitely like riding a roller coaster, a big thriller one. I was so worn out that I slept for three hours after getting home.

You know, there are those moments that you are going to discover something huge in your life, such as finding your name on the grade publishing board of college entrance exam, opening the admission envelope from your dream school, your all-dressed-up boyfriend reaching his suit pocket nervously in a fancy restaurant and saying I do in a white gown in church etc, etc, finding the baby’s sex is definitely one of the moments of this magnitude.

Both XJ and I were all excited about today’s ultrasound exam. The moment I lied down on the examining bed, we said:
“Would you please tell us the baby’s sex!” We were expecting an answer like this: “Sure, if we get lucky!!”
Instead, the radiologist calmly replied: “Well, we are not interested about that part. I am going to exam every part of your baby. If I see something, I will let you know.”

Her response, empathetical? not so much; honest? yeah absolutely! She reminded us that we got more important tasks to do today, checking and making sure the fetus is developing well. The radiologist started to take pictures of every part of the baby: heart, abdomen, face, ear, nose, mouth, arms, legs, hands and feet…The baby was moving very actively and that made examining her (we still use “her” as we didn’t know yet) a little bit hard. XJ and I glued our eyes to the monitor bugging the radiologist now and then if she had seen any part of THAT. The baby seemed really wanting to keep that a secret as she closed the two tiny legs so tightly. There was no chance for others to have a peek. I was thinking, good girl, you already know how to behave properly in public!

Everything looks fine until…

When the radiologist was taking the pictures of the baby’s head, I saw the monitor showed two big bubble shades on the baby’s head. I casually asked,
“What’s that? Is that her brain bones?”
“They are not supposed to be there. I need to look into this and you may need another ultrasound.” In a very strong Eastern European accent, the radiologist said.
“Then what is it?” XJ and I started to get nervous.
“They are called Ch…P…Cys. We have seen this in a lot of babies and most of them turned out just fine. I can’t say more than this. But your doctor will talk about it in detail with you today.”

This caught us totally off guard. We had no idea about the terminology even she explained what that part of the brain is for. All we heard was fluid, fluid, fluid. We, especially I started to panic. “Oh, my god,” I looked at XJ desperately, “our baby is not normal!” Even though the radiologist kept confirming that all the other parts look perfectly fine as she went on with the exam, we were so worried and in no mood to find out the baby’s sex any more. I looked at XJ and he started to comfort me and ask me not to worry until we talk to the OB. (I am still not sure how can he be so calm.)

“Well, I think I see something between the legs.” The Radiologist said.
“What is it?” We started to pick up some spirit again.
“I think it is a boy, but I can’t see it clearly”.
“Oh, my god, we are having a boy!?”
I asked the radiologist to prod my tummy a little bit and hopefully we can see more in that department. Several rounds later, a “third leg” kind of thing between the baby’s crossed legs popped up on the monitor and I asked,
“Is that what I was thinking?”
“I am now 100% sure it is a boy. That is his penis.” A sweet voice said.

That is it?! Here is the answer to several months' guessing game?! XJ and I started to acclaim, “Oh, we are really going to have a boy! It is official!!”

The joy of finding out the baby’s sex breezed away some dismal haze about the findings on our baby’s head. The radiologist finished her job and went to ask another senior radiologist to take another look at our baby. I lied on the bed, XJ holding my hand. We started at each other feeling, sweet sorrow. What if...what if…

A senior radiologist came and repeated the whole procedure, examining and taking pictures of every part of the baby. After she finished, she told us that everything looks fine except the brain part. Again she told us there was nothing to worry about and my OB will talk about it with us. Don’t you hate it when people keep telling you this! But what else can they say?

With the report in hand, we finally saw the word of the symptom. It is called “Choroid Plexus Cyst”. In the OB’s waiting room, XJ whipped out iphone and we started to google everything about this CPC. (Today, iphone looked even lovely to us than ever) We started to calm down as we read on the articles about CPC and its causes and consequences. It seems that it is a quite common thing for fetus to develop and it will go away by the 3rd trimester. There is potential risk of chromosomal problems but the risk is quite minimal.

By the time we got into the OB’s room, we already calmed down. We shared the joy of finding the sex of the baby with her. She reviewed the report with us and made sure we understand there was nothing wrong with the baby’s brain. In our case given that all the other parts are totally fine and the very low risk factor of the first trimester screen test, our baby having chromosomal problem is very low (0.1%). We don't need to worry about it and should continue enjoy the pregnancy.

Walking out of the hospital, hand in hand to the car, phew, what a drive! Known to XJ as a worry babe, he made sure I listened to what the OB said and stop thinking it as such a bad thing anymore. In the way home, I started to resonate with what my mommy-friends said: I used to say that I wish our baby get my eyes, XJ’s nose etc, etc. They always told me, “When you are becoming a mommy, you just wish your babies be normal.” I realized today it can’t be more true!

Let's pray...

OMG, Stretch Mark!

I went to shopping with one of my girlfriends the other day. Except that both of us gained quite a lot of satisfaction from the so-called “Retail Therapy”, I reaped another surprise, and it is bad. :( My girlfriend noticed that I got one of every pregnant woman’s nightmares – STRETCH MARKS, on my back waist!

What the hell! I dived into research about preventing and reducing stretch marks when I first got to know that I am pregnant. And I thought I have found the perfect solution – Palmers’s Cocoa Butter Massage Lotion. As per dermatologist, cocoanut oil is the best to prevent and reduce pregnant stretch marks. I have been religiously applying it on my tummy every day for several months. Maybe it is working, maybe it is not the time yet, I haven’t seen any single trace of stretch mark on the front of my abdomen. I was even delighted that I might be able to get around this horrible “Geographical Map on Your Tummy” thing with some luck and the help of this massage oil. This little finding on the back absolutely shattered my dream. How come it starts growing on the back first?! I do have a little bulge on the front but nothing happened on the back yet. It is so unfair!!

People say you never know what would happen on your back. It is so true that even pregnant stretch marks surprised me like this. In a second thought, it is actually silly to care so much about it. It is part of the nature. Also, I am not even a beach babe, who else can see it?! XJ says the stretch mark is lovely. Anyway, from that day on, the daddy-to-be started to pick up another daily task – applying the stretch massage oil on my back.

Daddy-to-be Having Fun

Americans love T-shirts. They wear them everywhere: work, gyms, travel, casual gatherings and parties. With so many famous authentic All-American fashion designers/companies continuously innovate in this area, T-shirts aren’t a simple, casual white knit shirt that absorbs sweats well anymore. It is more a fashion statement for Americans who emphasis individuality and humor. There are so many to explore about the T-shirt culture in America, but I am not going to enumerate here. Just recently, I found some companies selling humor Tees for expecting daddies. They are so much fun and cool that I want to record here. This small example also reflects the American T-shirts culture perfectly.

Nowadays, there are enormous wardrobe choices for fashionable mommies-to-be to have fun during pregnancy. As an equally important part of the human being-creating project, daddies are getting some actions in their wardrobes too. With no exception the easiest way is to express their excitements and proud through their favorite tees.

“CHANGING THE WORLD, ONE DIAPER AT A TIME”, this statement is the first one that caught my eyes and I felt it especially interesting to me. I was wondering if the designer borrowed this line from my Alma Mater's (Stanford GSB) tagline which says, “CHANGING THE WORLD, ONE PROJECT AT A TIME.”

And there are tees for proud daddies like:
“YES, IT’S MINE”
“LOOK AT WHAT I DID”
“YES, I DID IT”
“THE MAN BEHIND THE BELLY”

Further more, there are provocative statements like:
“MY BOYS CAN SWIM”
“HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES”
“BULLSEYE”
“I AM THE MILKMAN”
These statements are really funny but I think it takes quite some courage to wear and show to the world in some culture.

Isn’t pregnant life more fun for women with these little gestures from their hubbies? I love these humor tees. Too bad that as a conservative Chinese, my guy XJ is not willing to wear these tees except for the first one. He said, “Honey, I am more willing to peel and cut one more apple for you everyday.” Well, life is also about tradeoff, isn't it?

Learning Curve

XJ's colleague passed him some wisdom about raising children. It is so funny that I have been constantly cracking up every time I think of it since he told me. It is translated as, “Raising the first kid according to books and raising the second one as a piggy.” It is even funnier when you say it in Chinese because it has a rhyme in it. It says, “第一个小孩按书养，第二个小孩当猪养”.

Joking aside, this simple phrase is so witty and comprehensive! I can’t help but acclaim the power of Chinese expression. If we give this some analytical thinking: apparently, the learning curve for young parents to raise the first kid is very deep because you start from ground zero and have so much to learn. As for the second, the third and etc, with more accumulated knowledge, the starting point on the Y axis is higher and the learning curve naturally gets flatter and flatter. But this is not always the case, if you get some precious help from mom and dad, which would give the beginning a jump start, the learning curve, even for the first kid, can be flatter too. That is why everybody invites parents to help! Ooops, I guess I went too far on this analysis. This starts to get boring and silly.

My parents have four kids with me being the youngest. Hmmm, I am wondering what kind of animal I was raised as back then. Gotta call them and find out. Just kidding, I can’t thank my parents more for bringing me to this world and bringing me up the way I am. If I was a piggie, I believe I was the luckiest, happiest, proudest and most spoiled piggie in the world. I can’t imagine how my mom achieved to be a mother of four kids when she was in a even younger age than I am now. People say daughters connect to parents, especially moms much more deeply when they have their own kid. I want to say, my dearest mom and dad, I wish you healthy and happy and I can’t wait to share with you the feelings of being a new piggie, oh no, I mean mommy :)

Baby Boom?

As we were driving home yesterday, XJ told me that another one of his friend is expecting a baby girl this August. Flash back. Suddenly, I realized so many of our friends have been hit /will soon be hitting on the parental road. The news came to me from mail box, MSN live messages, phone conversations and personal surprises. The baby waves have washed me again and again. Interestingly enough, I hadn’t noticed this pattern before I was pregnant. Does this mean another baby boom is coming? What a change! Is it me or is it the world? Flash back again. When XJ and I decided to get married two years ago, we found so many our single friends were getting married too. All of a sudden, I laughed at myself. This is life - a never-stopping-never-ending grand live event. As individuals, we are visitors. As we walk along the event, we see different scenes and feel different feelings. “Life is a journey”, I have known this line since I was in elementary school and quoted it in my writings now and then. But all these years, I have never taken a moment to slow down and seriously think over its real meaning and how it is applied to my life. No wonder people say you immediately grow up when a baby is presented in your hand. The coming of the XJ&XJ definitely provoked my philosophical thinking!

A Sleeping Posture Solution – My Comfy Prenatal Body Pillow

I never imagined that my years of sleeping habit lying on the stomach will ever pose a potential danger to the baby growing inside of me. I had been tossing around the bed for quite some nights in order to make sure that I sleep on the left side, which as every practitioner tells you, is the best sleeping posture for your baby. Not until I discovered the prenatal body pillow 2 weeks ago had I found my tight sleep and sweet dreams back.

As the pregnancy progress, it got harder and harder for me to sleep my way though nights. Everything I was used to started to bother me: the pillow, the mattress, the person lying beside me. It took longer to fall asleep and easier to wake up during nights, not only for the frequent bathroom visits, but also unknown reasons.

As desperately as I got, I changed my used-to-be-perfect medium firm pillows to extra firm ones. XJ slept on our new extra firm pillow for one night and the first thing he did the next morning was to unpack old pillows. He simply can’t handle the altitude and the hardness of the new one.

While the new pillow gave me several nights’ comfort, I found new issues that bothered me. This time was XJ. Due to our significant weight difference, we had changed our mattress for several times until we found a very firm mattress, so firm that I won’t feel sleep on a slope every night. Well, the trouble came back to me. I started to believe XJ had put on a lot of weight as I felt sleeping on a slope again. Poor XJ, he insisted he weighed the same as before. Time to change to a firmer mattress? But the one we have now is the firmest we could get; also it is so expensive to buy a new mattress. Time to change to a not-so-heavy husband? Hmmm, tempting but seems risky and costly too.

I always feel solutions come to me when I am in trouble. As lucky I got this time, when I was reading the subscribed pregnancy newsletter one day, I discovered there is a thing called maternity body pillow which is supposed to help pregnant women to get better sleep. I can’t wait to show this to XJ and headed to the local store and digged out this baby. It was perfect, not only giving me comfort support, but also making sure I always sleep on my left side, and unexpectedly, it forms a barrage between XJ and me so I don’t feel sleep on a slope any more.

By the way, Happy B-day to father-to-be XJ!